Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Different Strokes

I am so tired of trying to please you. This has been the stupidest thing I've ever done, is to try and please somebody else. I know better, too. I feel as though I bend over backwards, constantly, trying to please you, and you don't acknowledge it (or see it). You decide what will be on TV, how loud it will be, when you will change it in mid-show or song -- never mind who else is watching or present. Do you really think I give a flying flip about college football?? But you want me to sit beside you and be near you, so I endure it because I love you.

You bitched about me watching "Law and Order" so much. It just so happened that both of us like that show. I made a conscious effort to find something you liked, too, so we could share the experience. Because of the negative associations I now have with L&O, I don't even enjoy it any more. Do you realize you often ridicule any and everything I do?

You complain about my driving. I'm not that crazy about yours, either, truth be told. You turn into traffic far too close to other cars, like when you make left turns across traffic. You curse and rave and rant at least half the time you're driving. It amazes me. Your blood pressure must be sky high when you drive. You steer to avoid potholes but almost always hit them anyway, causing me to be thrown sideways and then bumped on top of it. I can't count the times you've driven up over the curb. But hey, people have different ways of driving than others. I don't mention these things to complain -- I mention them because I never do mention them because I rarely think about them, and then if I would ever bring it up, you'd ask me what it was and I wouldn't remember. So now I have recorded some of them and can come back to this post for reference.

It's funny how different people's perspectives are. For instance, you constantly complain about feeling old/hating "old things." You despise my purse, for example, even though I carefully researched fashion trends and bought a fashionable style. Heck, the purse I had before this one was fine, too; you just decided that it was old-fashioned and hated it,too.

You wear T-shirts, won't cut your hair or trim your beard, wear bandanas on your head. Do you think that makes you look young?? I think not. I have opinions on how you look, but I keep them to myself unless you ask me what I think because people are entitled to express their style the way they see fit. I am just glad that you -- for the MOST PART -- stopped wearing ballcaps all the time. You still buy one at least once a month and they lay around everywhere. But thank God, you don't wear them constantly any more. And thank YOU.

Everyone has their own perception of what "old" is. For me, listening to classical music on public radio reminds me of my father; hence, it seems old. But you listen to classical music and it seems cool to you. I like classical music; that's not the point. The point is, it makes me feel old to sit and listen to it all the time. So when we're in the car and you change the station to classical music, just know that I am sitting there feeling ancient. I don't say anything because this shouldn't be your problem. It is my issue with classical music, not yours. So why should I impose my feelings on you? I can deal with my own feelings. I just wish you would deal with yours -- about my purse, my hair color, my hair style, my decision to wear or not wear makeup, my clothing, etc.


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