What the FUCK is wrong with me? A nun posted an encouraging post on my husband's Facebook status and I felt jealousy. A nun!!! I had to go check her page to make sure she really was a nun.
I feel so insecure in our relationship. I want so much to feel intimate and connected with him. I want our conversations to be free and easy, spontaneous instead of guarded. It's like we've knitted so much potential danger and meanings into everything that we can't express ourselves without meticulously weighing every word.
Yesterday, he told me not to spend money. I told him I didn't have any to spend (agreeing with him). He got defensive and said he was just telling me we didn't have much in the bank. I told him I was just agreeing with him. He stomped out the door. Thankfully, he came right back and told me he loved me. I know we're both trying. But it's so hard.